Undiagnosed ADHD in Adults
Adults who were not diagnosed with ADHD as children might struggle with a myriad of issues, including work, relationships and financial issues. This can lead to feelings of frustration, shame and anxiety.
If a person is diagnosed with undiagnosed ADHD they might feel relieved that they now have a reason for the difficulties they have had to face throughout their lives. They could also experience other effects like:
Relationships
Being married or living with the same person for a long time means that you'll have a partner to share your joys and downs. It is important to have someone who can help run the household, take care of children and provide emotional support. This may not be true for couples in which both partners or one of them has undiagnosed ADHD. People who do not have ADHD may feel overwhelmed, angry and feel as if they are constantly nagged or micro-managed by their spouse with ADHD. The spouses of those with ADHD might feel embarrassed, unwanted and emasculated when they are constantly reminded of the way they behave in public.
Adults suffering from ADHD often mistake their partners their impulsivity and forgetfulness for recklessness or a lack of care. This can lead to disagreements and hurtful feelings. Couples may also experience lack of communication, with significant issues ignored or not even discussed.
The untreated symptoms of adult ADHD can cause problems for work and relationships. They can also cause other health issues, such as depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. Roy says he believes the government needs to invest more in training for psychiatrists and help people with undiagnosed ADHD receive the treatment they require as if they are left untreated those who suffer from ADHD are at greater risk of harming themselves and others.
Understanding ADHD in both yourself and your partner will help you learn to manage it. Couples who are honest, sincere and committed are able to overcome the issues that arise in their relationship, even though they both suffer from ADHD.
If you're having issues in your relationship, discuss it about it with a calm and private manner. Be sure that there aren't distractions and maintain eye contact throughout your conversation. If you or your partner begins to lose focus, ask them to repeat the words they're using so they can clearly hear you. It's always best to address these issues whenever they arise before anger or resentment develops. This also gives your partner the chance to apologize if they haven't already.
Time Management
The biggest challenge for people who suffer from ADHD is managing their time. They may not know how long it takes to complete a task and can get easily distracted, leading them to put off tasks or even not meet deadlines. They might also be troubled by impulsive purchases and find it hard to stick to a strict budget. In addition, those who suffer from ADHD often have difficulty staying focused, and they may be unable to remember important information or details.
Undiagnosed ADHD in adults can lead to problems with money and relationships. Doctors who don't have the appropriate training might not be able recognize the symptoms of ADHD, and many people do not receive a diagnosis until adulthood. Labour's shadow minister for mental health, Barbara Keeley, believes that the government should invest more in psychiatrists as well as training courses for GPs and trainees as this is key in getting the most accurate diagnosis.
In addition to not being able to manage their time, those with undiagnosed ADHD are often having trouble keeping their emotions in check. They aren't able to understand their own emotions and those of others. This can lead to difficulties in relationships. People with undiagnosed ADHD may experience mood swings and can quickly alter their opinions about a topic or a person.
According to Dr Ashok Roy, head of the Royal College of Psychiatrists' intellectual disability faculty, women with undiagnosed ADHD are more likely to experience issues with attention, which can be accompanied by emotional and daydreaming issues, whereas men tend to suffer from more hyperactivity and behavioural issues. Dr. Roy says that a valid diagnosis should include a lengthy interview that focuses on the social and emotional history of the patient, and also an interview with a family member who can offer perspective on the behavior of children.
Aside from seeking a diagnosis, people with undiagnosed ADHD are able to try different strategies to manage their time and enhance their organization skills. This could include using a planner and color-coding, notes to self, reminders and daily routines. They can also download a no-cost application like RescueTime which tracks usage of apps and websites to help people analyze the things that distract them, which days of the week they are most productive and devise a plan for maximizing productivity.
Memory

Memory may be a problem for those who've had ADHD undiagnosed their entire lives. People suffering from ADHD struggle with short-term memory, and may be more difficult to remember the things they've learned. They also have issues with working memory. This is due to the limited amount of information they keep in their minds when they are working on problems, following instructions or dealing with emotions and stress.
As adults, the demands of family and work require more of a person than they did in the early years of childhood. This increased workload, combined with the symptoms of ADD and ADHD, can put a lot of pressure on the ability to keep up. This can cause delays or a lack of organization. The tasks are often left unfinished or only completed at the last moment. This can result in an downward spiral of anger and low-self-esteem that may cause an increase in ADHD symptoms.
It's possible that a person with ADHD might not receive a diagnosis in childhood because they might be hiding their symptoms by having poor studying habits, a lack of organizational skills or excessive fidgeting. This is especially true at work, where someone with ADHD might be perceived as unprofessional or lazy due to their lack of focus.
Undiagnosed ADHD symptoms can also be difficult to detect in adults, as they're usually less obvious than in children. Hyperactivity is more apparent when children are around than adults who are often stressed and overwhelmed by daily tasks. It is important to be aware of subtle symptoms of ADHD as an adult, such as excessive daydreaming, difficulty following directions or forgetting important dates and a tendency to tackle too many tasks at once.
One study showed that ADHD adults' deficits in working memory were due to biological factors relating to the frontal brain lobe, which is responsible for the ability to focus and impulse control. In the study, those who had better results in a 0-back and 1-back n-back memory task showed less activity in this region than those who performed worse. This is consistent with previous studies that have demonstrated the connection between ADHD and a decrease in working memory performance.
Fidgeting
Fidgeting is an automatic response for a lot of people when they feel nervous or anxious. It could also be a method to ease boredom or release extra energy, and can actually help improve focus. But, for those who are unable to control the fidgeting, it can turn into problematic. The good news is that you can manage the symptoms and take charge of your life.
You may have a difficult time sitting still or paying attention during meetings or classes. This can be a problem for you and others particularly when you are interrupted or disappear into your thoughts. People may mistake your fidgeting as inattention or ignoring them, and you could be missing important information. This could also impact your work performance and career as well as your personal relationships.
People who fidget may develop what's known as Body-Focused Repeative Behaviors, or BFRBs, which are destructive and damaging behaviors like hair pulling onychophagia (nail biting) and dermatillomania (skin picking). These behaviors are similar to normal fidgeting, but they cause physical injury to the person. In diagnosis for adhd , these behaviors are self-destructive and can even be life-threatening.
You can learn how to stop fidgeting if have not been diagnosed with ADHD or BFRBs. You can reorient your movements towards something more productive, like chewing a piece of gum or using a spinner. You can also limit the amount of time you fidget, and also find an accountability partner to talk with if you go over your limit. You can also take breaks and engage in activities that will stimulate your mind and keep you focused on the task at hand.
If you're not sure if you're ADHD symptoms are affecting your life, it's a good idea to talk with an experienced therapist. Fill out a brief questionnaire at home and you can be connected with an experienced professional therapist within 48 hours. Click here to find out more.